Tom attended the Children’s Grief Centre when he was six years old, following his father’s death. In school, although his grades remained good, he had become withdrawn and was aggressive towards his peers. At home he had become uncooperative.

In the first session, Tom’s Support Worker asked him why he though his mum had brought him to the Centre. He seemed nervous and said “To talk about what is going on in my head.” One of the exercises in the workbook used by the volunteer asked Tom to “Draw a picture of how it hurts when someone you love goes away.” Tom drew a picture of a heart and shared “I feel the hurt in my heart and what hurt most is that Dad died.” When asked what he was feeling he replied “I am heart-breaking”.

Mary was 4 years old when her parents separated and she attended the Children’s Grief Centre at age 17. In her first session she shared that she had felt sad since she was 7 years old and had “struggled with her feelings since then”.

Mary talked about the difficulties she experienced when parent-teacher meetings were held at school. When asking her mother to attend, her mother would reply “is he coming?” If she asked her Dad to attend, he would ask “is she coming?” She recalled in detail her parents’ passing comments about each other which hurt her deeply – even up to the present time. Her biggest worry was that “the nasty comments will never stop”. She explained “anything said to me in the last 7 years is still with me and still upsets me. I feel trapped. I can’t leave. I can’t get away from it. I feel very tense.”